Lost Love and Memories
by Ayuishi
Summary: Somethings wrong with Ryu and the rain keeps on falling. Ryu never forgets Kumachan, yet he is accused of stealing?...
1. Memories for a Rainy Day

I don't own Gravitation, I just wish I did.

Miaka is not a gravitational character, she jumped out of my imagionation.

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Narration  
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__flashbacks will be in italics **  
songs will be in bold italics** _

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Chapter 1 - Mermories For A Rainy Day

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The room was dimly lit. The inhabitant of the room was silent and standing deadly still, that at first glance you would think the room was completely empty. The man in the room was staring out of one of the enormous windows, which offered a clear view of the city below. He was wearing a black t-shirt with baggy dark green khakis. In his hands he was holding what seemed to be a pink bunny. His stance was that of a cord that had been wound too much and was ready to explode. His face was hidden in shadow. Outside, the day got darker and the rain continued to fall.

For the first time in what seemed like ages the man moved bringing the pink bunny to his chest for a hug. He held it there as if it was life itself and it's warmth would keep the cold away. A desperate, yet so venerable move. If anything at all, his stance became even more tense. Lighting flashed across the sky, illuminating the man's face. He had brownish, green hair and startling blue eyes set in a face that looked as if it had been drained of all color. His features were set in a slight frown as if deep in thought, his eyes had a distant look to them and reflected sorrow. He trembled and whimpered as if in pain.

Why? Why, am I here? Alone? So alone... thought Sakuma Ryuichi, holding Kumagoru even closer to him.

At the moment no one would know who Ryuichi was, for the hyperactive singer had been replaced by a stranger with sober features, whose presence seemed to command obedience and respect.

Were did I go wrong? Tohma-kan has Mika-kan, Nariko-kan has Ukai-kan and Saki-chan. Even Shu-chan has Yuki-kan. So were did I go wrong? mused Ryu…

----Flashback-----

_Na noooooo naaaaa nooooo da! Naaa nooo na no da...sang a little Ryuichi Sakuma as he played all alone in the sandbox. He looked around to see if there were any other kids __in the park to play with, but he saw no one. He turned back to the sand castle he was building._

_**The day is bright... na no na no da... the sun is warm... na no na no da... **sang Ryu- chan as he continued to play._

_That's a pretty song you are singing. What's it called? Asked a small voice behind Ryu-chan._

_Ryuichi blinked and quickly turned around to see who had spoken kicking his sand castle down by accident._

_Oh no, cried the little girl with black hair and big brown eyes, wearing a yellow dress. Now look what we did Kumagoru. We made him destroy the pretty castle. We are sorry. _

_Oh no, it was my fault, I should have been more careful. said Ryu-chan offering the girl a big bright smile. And the song has no name I made it up._

_Really, that's soo cool. I wish I had a voice like yours to sing songs I made up said the little girl sadly as she came and sat beside Ryuichi. May I help you rebuild your castle?_

_Sure, my name is Sakuma Ryuichi. But you can call me Ryu-chan What's your name?_

_I am Remusa Miaka and this is Kumagoru said Miaka as she offered Kumagoru's little arm for Ryu-chan to shake. _

_Ryu-chan took Kumagoru's hand and shook it saying it's nice to meet you Kuma-chan. You don't mind if I call you that. do you?_

_Kumagoru says that he'd love it if you called him that. Said Miaka with a big smile andstarsin her big brown eyes._

_You aren't Japanese are you? You have a funny accent._

_Well, I am from Canada, my father is Japanese though and he decided that we would come and live here with his parents after my mother died, said Miaka looking down at Kuma-chan._

_I am sorry._

_Will you be mine and Kuma-chan's friend Ryu-chan?_

_Sure. said Ryu-chan smiling as they turned their attention back to the half destroyed castle._

_----end of flashblack----_

Miaka-chan, whispered Ryuichi watching the rain fall. I haven't thought about you in ten years…

Ryu-chan, what a pleasant surprise said Saguchi Tohma as he walked into his office wearing a brilliant smile. What can I do for you?

Tohma-kan said Ryu-chan as he ran to hug him. It's so nice to see you. I have the lyrics for our next song, Kuma-chan and I just finish them. I put them on your desk. Kuma-chan wants some ice-cream so we are going to go now. Ok Tohma?

All right Ryu-chan. Don't eat too much ice cream or you'll make yourself sick again, said Tohma as his hyper friend ran out of the room.

Strange he thought. I've never see Ryuichi so serious before, it was scary and not like Ryuichi. He doesn't even go that serious when he is singing and that's about the only time I have ever seen him acting his age. I should keep an eye on him...

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Well that's chapter 1. If you are going to Review,Please don't be too mean, it's my first fan fiction and I am terrified. (shivers) :s Personally I am not sure what to think of this story so far and I don't know were it's going, but I can tell you for sure that it will be a complicated story as I am a very complicated person when I think. :P I don't know if I should be proud of that or not...oh well. I hope you liked my story so far and I hope you'll read the next chapter.


	2. Hidden Truths

Chapter 2 – Hidden Truth

_**My memories of yesterday, remain locked inside of me **_

_**And blindness is draining me,**_

_For I can see the sun…_

Wehhhhh, Tohma-kun I want to sing karaoke. Wined Ryuichi as crocodile tears filled his eyes.

Ryuichi, you know that is not possible, you have been singing all week and your voice needs some

rest. Now I am taking you home. Answered Tohma

Wait, then I won't sing, Kumagoru will do all the singing, I promise, cried Ryuichi.

Kumagoru also needs to rest, he is tired and sleepy and is becoming grumpy said Tohma

Kuma-chan is not sleepy and not grumpy pouted Ryuichi as he yawned.

If only I knew who had introduced Ryuichi to karaoke, I would hit them on the head for causing me

so much trouble every time we pass a karaoke bar. Thought Tohma looking over at his now silent

band mate who was watching the rain fall.

I really can't stand it when it rains. Though**t** Ryuichi. My grandmother use**d** to tell me, that when I

was born it was raining as if the heavens themselves had been mourning the death of my mother and

my birth. My father never really liked me, he wanted to get rid of m**e** after my mother died. He

thought that my grandmother would approve because she had always been strongly against his and

my mother's marriage. But when he suggested it my grandmother wouldn't hear of it. She would

always say to me and my father " Once a Sakuma always a Sakuma even if the rest of us don't want

you, Sakuma's take care of their own, so deal with it." When she said this she would stare at me with

a knowing look that I never understood exactly what it meant.

Even though my grandmother said this it didn't stop my father from spitting venom in my ears. For as

long as I can remember he would say things like… you idiot kid… its all your fault you ugly unlovable

beast. Although his words hurt more then the punches and kicks he directed my way, I never minded

that much because at least he was not ignoring me. But then my father ended up remarrying, and

brought his new family to live with us. It hurt so much to hear his other children call him father and

have him be kind to them. Have them laugh with him, have him smile and play with him. They all just

ignored me as if I didn't exist at all. She **-** my stepmother **-** on the other hand, she didn't ignore me,

she went out of her way to be mean to me. The only time she was kind to me was when she tried to

touch me. She would say, " it's alright darling, you don't have to be afraid, I wont hurt you, you'll

enjoy this I promise." When I'd push her **a**way she would get really mean.

One morning when I was seven, I woke up to my father screaming. He came into my room and beat

me until I passed out. When I woke up the house was quiet, and my grandmother was at my side

taking care of my wounds. She had a disappointed look on her face and said, " It's all your fault for

not minding your father. You seem to deserve it, after all you were a bad boy".

When she said that I remember turning my head away to look outside my window at the sky, only to

find that it was grey and it was raining. I wondered if the sky was crying at my pain. I later found out

that my father had found out about what my stepmother had been forcing me to do and he blamed

the whole thing on me. After this whole incident his behaviour towards me changed again, instead of

just ignoring me he began to humiliate me and laugh, when I cried. He found my pain amusing as if the

only reason I exist was to put on a comedy act just for him. He would say mean things all the time,

but neither my father nor my stepmother ever laid a hand on me again. You see, although my

grandmother's way was stricter and she used harsh words with me, she was gentle and did everything

she could to protect me. For her I would do anything, I worked hard at school and was at the top of

my class, I did everything I could to help her which just made my father angrier, and made my life

even worse. I didn't want him to see how much I was affected by his rejection and how sad I would

become so I learned to hide my feelings creating a mask, a character that would be indifferent to it

all. I began to smile and always laugh, acting happy when I was truly in pain, making jokes when all I

wanted to do was break down and cry. Everyone liked this character that I had become, and I soon

found that at school people always surrounded me finding the new me irresistible. At home it was a

different story, it made my father angrier and the verbal abuse continued. So I spent as little time as

possible at home.

Ryuichi-chan, said Tohma again this time shaking his friend slightly as he called him. What is wrong

with him, it's been like this the whole week. He keeps spacing out and when I ask him what's wrong

he says its nothing and gets a guilty look in his face before he goes all chibchi on me. This is really

becoming serious but what can I do if I don't know what the problem is. He is scary when he acts

this way, I've never seen him like this and then all of a sudden he…

Ano, Tohma would you please stop shaking me. Kuma-chan is getting kind of queasy.

Sorry about that Ryuichi-chan, its just that you weren't't responding, when I told you we are here.

Are you okay? Do you want me to stay with you tonight?

Oh, gomen Tohma na no da the rain drops had me hypnotized. They are so pretty, lied Ryuichi. No,

plus Mika would feel all alone. I'll be fine no na da. Thanks for the ride. Come on Kuma-chan lets go

inside.


End file.
